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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? Hide and Go Seek Champion, 1973."

"What would be a more appropriate name for spiderman? Peter parkour."

"How to properly use a paper clip: 1. Throw in garbage 2. Use a stapler"

"I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them. Let's all be thankful I'm not a surgeon."

"There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro."

"I love how, in the year 2010, TV news channels still use a background graphic of a reel-to-reel tape player when they play 911 recordings."

"What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ ;)"

"The elevators aren't working and I work on the 10th floor. I just may become the first person ever to call in sick from the security desk."

"Dear Taliban, When you shoot a kid in the head for wanting an education and she doesn't die, how can you be sure that God is on your side?"

"It's difficult to imagine someone stealing your Viagra prescription. . . But really it wouldn't be hard."