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Joke of the Day

"I love how, in the year 2010, TV news channels still use a background graphic of a reel-to-reel tape player when they play 911 recordings."

"What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street? You need to cul de sac."

"A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer."

"your mama so fat that when she wanted a water bed they had to put a cover over the Atlantica Ocean."

"[gf falls asleep during a movie] ME: aw [i get a blanket] ME: *hitting her w/ the blanket* wake up ur missing the part with gollum's riddles"

"I've lost my boyfriend! He's in one of these browser tabs, somewhere."

"What do you get when you cross an orthodontist and a secret agent? It's confi-dental"

"[Girl takes off her clothes] ""You have had sex before right?"" [Me, in a suit of armor & holding a cauliflower] ... ""no actually"""

"What's the difference between people from Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don't like the flinstones but people from Abu Dhabi Do"

"Once you've seen one shopping center... ...you've seen a mall."