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Joke of the Day

"There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro."

"Do you know why there are so many great bakeries in Germany? They had to do *something* with all of the ovens."

"If I've learned anything in life, it's that not enough people are at a loss for words."

"Listening to my coworker cry about her gag reflex not being able to swallow her allergy pills.. All I keep thinking is: Her poor boyfriend.."

"Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just ""let it go"". My 6 year old told me this. I will show myself out now..."

"What is a gathering of octopus called? Octoposse"

"Why did Sally fall off her swing? Because she had no arms"

"What did the mathematician and the dentist talk about? Calculus"

"For a week I've been telling my kid ""If your cough isn't better tomorrow, you're going to the doctor!"" and it finally worked. (She died.)"

"Q: How is a penis like fishing? A: The small ones you throw back the medium ones you eat and the larger ones you mount."