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Joke of the Day

"It's difficult to imagine someone stealing your Viagra prescription. . . But really it wouldn't be hard."

"You guys was right about Donald Trump harming the environment He's already making snowflakes melt!"

"A subscription to *Time* is not the most difficult concept to get your head around. I've told you: *Time* and *Time* again."

"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."

"If a dwarf gave a dollar to another dwarf they'd be a dollar short."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? He only comes once a year."

"Its only the three cats that are still undefeated in the NFL regular season The Bengals, The Panthers, and The Cheetahs!"

"Arab man gets on a bus and a Jewish woman scoffs and pinches her nose.... Arab says, youve got the problem lady, Ishmael good *OC, Dont hate, probably not as bad if you verbalize it."

"Back in LA who wants to make plans & cancel them & talk about rescheduling but never do then just like each other's FB post to keep it cool"

"I love drinking games.... except the one where you have to try to walk a straight line while saying the ABCs backwards"