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Joke of the Day
"I've just been diagnosed with Sausagephobia... ...I fear the Wurst."
Next Joke
"Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby."
"[restaurant] Man *proposing to his gf*: ""Will you make me the happiest man alive?"" [me, alone, eating nachos a table over] ""Not possible"""
"What do you call a prostitutes first day on the job? A Grand Opening"
"Success is having no idea where the nearest Coinstar machine is."
"DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*"
"Wife sings and husband gets out! Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you!!"
"""ok start it up"" tktktk-puh-buurup-chk-a-chk ""give it some gas"" ss-ss-icka-icka-grrawh-pshhhh any ideas? ""I can't hear over you beatboxing"""
"I can't stand Freud... him and his motherfucking complex."
"There is no way alcohol kills more people than it creates"