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Joke of the Day

"I've just been diagnosed with Sausagephobia... ...I fear the Wurst."

"I hate when I give people nicknames like ""stupid face"" on my phone and I cant remember who the stupid face is."

"Presidential election season; that special time every four years when we find out who we just really shouldn't be friends with anymore."

"People who call themselves ""grammar Nazis"" deserve the worst possible sentence."

"I made my girlfriend cry the other day. I called her son a bloody disappointment. Apparently she's very sensitive about her miscarriage."

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"Why did the jew leave the party early? He had gas."

"When I see a girl, I first look at her hair. Then at her eyes, lips, neck... Damn dial-up!"

"Lesbians should not be allowed to buy dildos, they made their choice!!"

"I wonder what song The Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make that cute bikini top"