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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"Whats around $5000+ and enhances personality? Breast implants."

"STOP holding secret meetings about my paranoia!"

"I quit smoking for good Now I smoke for evil."

"Little Johnny is sitting in geography class when the teacher asks him, ""Where is Pakistan?"" He replies ""Outside playing with Paki-Dave."""

"Porcupine : Porsche whats the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche... a porcupine has its pricks on the outside."

"Why doesn't Muad'Dib like the Spice Girls? They remind him too much of his mother. I'll see myself out."

"We can't control the wind, but we have the power to adjust the sails."

"Try to imagine pugs living in the wild, just roaming in the forest in packs."

"How do you know your sister is having her period? (Sick danish humor) NSFW When your fathers dick taste like blood."