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Joke of the Day
"Anyone who has to spend more than 2 mins at an ATM is obvilously sending a text to Optimus Prime"
Next Joke
"I just found out my wife has an identical twin I saw her on Tinder."
"My wife's a ventriloquist, which means she has the ability to complain about having to give me a blowjob whilst actually giving me a blowjob."
"Your password must contain a character still living in Game of Thrones ****** Password expired ****** Password expired ****** Password ex..."
"New study reveals that women actually make better archaeologist. They're always digging up old shit."
"A fat woman got stuck in the door of my local Italian buffet. I just couldn't get pasta."
"*scientist finishes bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and begins drinking the milk* ""Wait just one damn minute"" - How horchata was born"
"My Blonde wife just said to me ""Do men call it a penis 'cause it pees and goes in us?"""
"I once dated a mortician... it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person. Though she was a real head-turner."
"They're coming for me They're banging on my doors. I haven't eaten an apple in months. They're forcing their way in in. The doctors are here. Tell mum I love her."