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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a mortician... it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person. Though she was a real head-turner."

"A person dies every 3 seconds. How can a person die that many times?"

"If your parents, your boss, and three of your friends invite you to a party at a clinic its a trap"

"How many tickles does an octopus like? Ten-tickles"

"Once, a bucket of Sodium Hydroxide slipped out of Skrillex's hands. He dropped the base."

"On the street or subway you can only imagine what that idiot is thinking. On Twitter, you get to see what that idiot is thinking."

"I was just gone for a moment When the jews came into the Palastinian territory to found Israel they were like: ""Thanks for keeping my place warm"""

"Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward? Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross."

"What do you call a communist sniper A Marxman"

"I would tell you all a chemistry joke But it probably wouldn't get a reaction"