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Joke of the Day

"They're coming for me They're banging on my doors. I haven't eaten an apple in months. They're forcing their way in in. The doctors are here. Tell mum I love her."

"me: *dies* mom: no get up you still have to go to school."

"yo mama joke I got a yo mama joke thats almost as stupid and ugly as yo mama"

"What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want to - it can't here you!"

"My ex-wife still misses me... BUT 'ER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER! ...'ER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER! ......you see, i...it's funny because marriage is terrible."

"""got you by the balls""... classic reference to the type of situation where someone is holding your balls and you can't jump around too much."

"It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer."

"Michael J. Fox's backup job plan. Become a Living vibrator."

"How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a whale? 4 skin divers"

"What does Snoop Lion do when he forgets to wear oven mitts? Drops it like it's hot."