124743

Joke of the Day

"Girl: I want bangs Me: I want a stylist to get my hair as close to antlers as possible. Make me look like a young prince of the wooded glen"

"Why are black people so good at sports? Hard work and dedication."

"How do you spot a meth - head in Wal-Mart... In the light - bulb isle with their cart turned upside down, fixing a squeaky wheel."

"When a girl doesn't invite me up to her place after a date I just assume it's because she's a hoarder with 30 kitty cats."

"""The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert"" - my 9 yr old daughter"

"What is the flatulent fat guy's favorite song after his gf dumped him during Christmas? Last Christmas I gave you my fart"

"""Guess what!"" ""What?"" ""I went clubbing and did the Bus Driver last night!"" ""Oh I love that dance move!"" ""It's a dance move?"""

"Help! I can't post anything on Reddit! Pls help!"

"What do you call a communist dog? Karl Barx"

"I was tanning on the beach with my son. After a while, he looked at me and said, ""You're look like a lobster."" ""Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?"" I asked. He said, ""No, you're just really ugly."""