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Joke of the Day

"I was tanning on the beach with my son. After a while, he looked at me and said, ""You're look like a lobster."" ""Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?"" I asked. He said, ""No, you're just really ugly."""

Next Joke
 
"My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end. The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed kicking children."
"What's the difference between the England football team and a teabag? The teabag stays longer in the cup."
"How do you get the most apples when bobbing at Halloween Wear a snorkel !"
"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it"
"Photosynthesis is the process used by plants to convert a picture into a thousand words"
"A friend's uncle asked how to use Amazon. He may need an Internet primer... ...do you think Sherwin-Williams makes one?"
"how much morning wood, would my girlfriend suck, if she ever sucked and if I had a girlfriend. Whatever."
"I opened my water and electric bills simultaneously... Needless to say, I was shocked."
"Diet plan: make friends fatter"