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Joke of the Day

"What is the flatulent fat guy's favorite song after his gf dumped him during Christmas? Last Christmas I gave you my fart"

"What do you call a fast food joint that caters specifically to muslims? Allahuh Snackbar"

"Anyone who says cheetahs are the fastest land mammals hasn't seen me move a cat off an expensive area rug before he pukes."

"Guess what I saw? wood"

"I'm gonna insert ""comedian"" in my bio and have my picture taken on a stage with a microphone in my hand so no one will follow me back."

"My mom should have been on a plane that crashed on 9/11 *I* think."

"Wait, women get the WHOLE DAY? Is that in every country? It's night where I am is it over can it be about me again"

"<- I've been drinking for almost 6 hours. If you see something wash up on shore that looks like this, please identify me."

"My 5-year-old found two pennies and shared one with her sister. I grounded them both because I'm not raising any communists."

"I've started seeing someone about my porn addiction. Her name's Brandy."