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Joke of the Day

"The ultimate catch-22. My boss said I need to improve my work ethic. I told him I'd work on it."

"What does a prostitute and a book have in common? For five dollars you can get one with crabs in it."

"I want to go see the new Purge movie... But I have to binge on the first two..."

"What does amnesia mean? Someone told me but I forgot."

"Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!"

"I fake all my origamis."

"What did Obama say when he was alone? Obamaself"

"Q: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow? A: One if nobody's looking."

"I always wear running shoes while driving because you won't know what the terrain will be like until after the cop pulls you over."

"What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jealous"