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Joke of the Day
"Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you a flat minor"
Next Joke
"Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date."
"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in three years... I don't have 2020 vision!"
"Williams Sonoma excels at selling me cookware I don't need to prepare meals with ingredients I can't afford for dinner guests I don't have."
"Favourite one-liner? ""stationary shop moves"" - Jimmy Carr **Another favourite -** ""I keep my porno tapes in my sock drawer, it's all you need in one place"" - Jason Manford"
"Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the no bell prize!"
"Just got bit by a black widow... People are fucking crazy."
"Man goes to the Doctor Doctor, my dick is shaped like a rocket. Well, I bet your wife is over the moon about it."
"Men do what they want and skip the rest. They're straightforward. If he doesn't call, he doesn't want to talk. If he calls, he's horny."
"I got silver for cheating on my wife. I'm always medalling in affairs."