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Joke of the Day

"Why does the Catholic Church have so much money? Because Jesus saves."

"Hearing them call a 25 year old hockey player a 'veteran' and a 28 year old player 'old' has done zilch for my self esteem today"

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection... ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"Snail Boss: under skills you've put 'quick reflexes' Snail: [2 hours later] that's right SB: [3 hours later] holy heck, when can you start?"

"What do you get when you drop a Piano on an army base? A flat major."

"I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog."

"Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you."

"Christmas Jokes (I know it's a bit late) Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naught girls live! What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls"

"Well, that's enough internet for the year. see ya guys in a few days"

"i put the ""alcohol"" in ""me"""