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Joke of the Day
"i put the ""alcohol"" in ""me"""
Next Joke
"Doctor: This patient needs exercise. Get him a walker. No that's a zombie I wanted a walk-oh I see what you did there, nurse [Everyone dies]"
"What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence? I don't know and I don't care."
"I should never read tweets at work because I laugh out loud and everyone asks what's funny and I have to say this excel spreadsheet."
"Always put sunglasses on your tree. Then, you'll get the proper shade."
"Why does Snoop always carry an umbrella? Fo da drizzle."
"I know this place will prepare my taxes competently--they have a guy dressed as the Statue of Liberty waving at passersby. -no one ever"
"What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota"
"What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car? ""We'll have to rehearse that."""
"I read in the paper about a hooker starting her own business.... They said that she had a good soft-opening."