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Joke of the Day

"Snail Boss: under skills you've put 'quick reflexes' Snail: [2 hours later] that's right SB: [3 hours later] holy heck, when can you start?"

"We're expecting 12 inches tomorrow night. Well played, Black History Month. Well played."

"If a girl says, ""I hate drama"" there is a 99% chance she is a huge drama queen."

"Did you hear about the dislexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog."

"How many Harambe memes done an average human make a day? Gorillif I know Front page here we come?"

"Did you hear about the day your parents got married? It was so beautiful even the cake was in teirs."

"What does a musician train do when running from the law? Covers tracks"

"Canadians spend about $3.5 billion annually in Florida Plus the $5 tip."

"[Confessional Booth] Me: I can't do anything right. Priest: Please get off of my lap."

"They'll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that's been open for more than 2 years."