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Joke of the Day

"I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog."

"who gave a dyslexic child a gift last christmas? Satan"

"Colonel Mustard invited me to the library to check out his candlestick collection, but I dunno... I got a bad feeling."

"What's the difference between the foundation of a building and the average Redittor? The foundation's been laid."

"While building a windmill I had to go to the restroom. You could say shit hit the fan."

"*at hostage negotiation class Prof: Let's go around and say why we're here Man: I joined the NYPD Woman: I'm in the FBI Me: I have a toddler"

"What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework ? A firequaker !"

"I rear-ended a guy on the way to work today Rectum."

"I run an amateur dramatic society. Someone approached me recently wanting to do an all dwarf version of the pantomime ""Aladdin"". The concept is a little wishy-washy."

"What do you call it when 2 homosexuals stare into eachother's eyes? A gaze."