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Joke of the Day

"Hearing them call a 25 year old hockey player a 'veteran' and a 28 year old player 'old' has done zilch for my self esteem today"

"In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated. The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible."

"Everybody was Feng Shui fighting, those cats improved my ambient lighting."

"A man with multiple-personality disorder walked into a bar. No he didn't."

"Why do you want to run for President? Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories."

"[OC] A cold bear Did you know that when a bear gets cold it loses control of its vowels and becomes a brrrr?"

"What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him"

"A guy walks into a bar. He sees a pirate with a steering wheel in his pants. The guy asks ""Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"". The pirate says ""I don't know but its driving me nuts!""."

"Why did the devil buy so many shoes? He wanted their soles."

"I think I figured out why Al Gore thought he invented the internet. He just misheard the word ""algorithm"""