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Joke of the Day

"Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors? Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!"

Next Joke
 
"Arrived home super drunk. Put the turkey in the oven and went up and banged my wife. Woke up next to the turkey. Afraid to check the oven."
"How did the Scot die? He got kilt."
"I'm calling my dick ""Infinite Warfare"" because no one wants it"
"My ring tone is a woman faintly screaming Help me, Superman. Help me!' and then I run away, unexplained."
"sexyaardvark69 [username taken] sexywombat69 [username taken] sexyplatypus69 [username taken] sorry this might take a while..."
"Police: How did they break in? Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it? Me: They threw it through the window."
"What's the difference between a waterproofer and a porn star? Eventually, a waterproofer stops coming home with cock all over them. Forgive my accent, I meant caulk. (My first waterproofing joke)"
"Why does ISIS wear condoms when they have sex? So they can fuck two goats at once!"
"What's the cheapest kind of noodle you can buy? Penne."