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Joke of the Day

"I'm calling my dick ""Infinite Warfare"" because no one wants it"

"I used to date a baker... But she was too kneady."

"Thanks to Twitter I now consider 140 characters ""literature""."

"What's the difference between hazelnuts and deernuts? Hazelnuts are normally around $1.50/lb, deernuts are always under a buck."

"What do you call it if an illegal immigrant fights a sex offender? Alien vs. Predator"

"Why did the 3 men go in to the bar?.. To get drunk"

"In Dog Beers, I've only had one."

"Where does a toxicologist go to get the best possible education? A Poison Ivy League College."

"A guy walks into a bar with a gun and shouts ""Which one of you fuckers is reposting jokes on r/jokes?"" A voice from the back called out ""I don't think you have enough bullets m8."""

"[Ouija board] GRANDMA WHERE IS YOUR COOKIE RECIPE"