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Joke of the Day

"What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk? A centipede with a wooden leg! *^^Joke ^^I ^^found ^^in ^^the ^^Tokyo ^^Ghoul ^^tag ^^on ^^Tumblr, ^^my ^^brother ^^loves ^^this ^^one!*"

"How do you keep a retard in suspense? ..."

"Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island. 1) Check spelling. 2) If correct, enjoy."

"How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hella."

"Him: Let's grill this steak Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS Him: that's not- Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK"

"Joseph confronts Mary... Joseph: ""Mary, I've heard you've been prostituting your body through the town!"" Mary: ""Don't worry, Joseph. I was just trying to make a little prophet."""

"I finally came clean with my girlfriend. When she came into the room, I said, ""I'm seeing another woman. ""She said, ""Oh, thanks. All I've changed is my hair."""

"What type of car insurance does OJ da Juiceman have? Triple Aaayyy"

"""What are you typing? Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that? Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!"" -Google."

"That thin line between ""I should tweet that"" or ""I should talk to my therapist about that""..."