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Joke of the Day

"Him: Let's grill this steak Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS Him: that's not- Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK"

"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."

"If there was an award for being the laziest guy ever I would send someone else to get it for me."

"Freddy thought he was the true nightmare until he met Chuck Norris who roundhouse kicked and from that day Freddy hides in fear thinking a nightmare in texas"

"Irishman walks in to a bar HAHA! Get it? It is funny because it implies the Irishman left the bar before to be able to walk back in!"

"Q: Mom why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons? A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment dear."

"Q.: ""Governor, what would you say if Trump picked you as his running mate?"" Christie: ""I'll close down that bridge when I get to it."""

"Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa? Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you."

"The doctor comes to a patient Doc: You have cancer and alzheimer. Patient: That's fine, atleast i don't have cancer."

"This Vietnamese couple I knew got married... Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."