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Joke of the Day

"I finally came clean with my girlfriend. When she came into the room, I said, ""I'm seeing another woman. ""She said, ""Oh, thanks. All I've changed is my hair."""

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"How many German does it take to take down a plane? One. Because he's very efficient and silent while doing it."
"for several hours a day, we are just an arrow floating on a screen"
"I wanted to bake a cake from scratch, but I'm out of scratch."
"If anti-gays want to stop gay sex... They should encourage gay marriage."
"How many muscles does a chicken have in its neck? Just enough to hold it's pecker up..."
"When Chinese audiences see movies based on toys... ...they probably think ""Hey look! It's those toys we made!"""
"Christmas comes earlier every year. There's 364 days until Christmas and my neighbors already have their lights up."
"Stay safe out there on New Years Eve Who am I kidding, I'm talking to Redditors."
"What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair? Caesars."