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Joke of the Day

"How do you keep a retard in suspense? ..."

"How do you make a cat go 'woof'? Douse it in gasoline and set it alight."

"I can't believe the Toronto maple leafs even have a website They can't even put THREE W's together!"

"'He looks just like you' is my favorite way to tell someone that their baby is ugly."

"Hey, Reddit! Here's one about cats: why did the mother cat move her kittens? She didn't want to litter."

"Before kids: I'd choose going blind over going deaf. After kids: Deaf! I wanna be deaf!"

"I was lucky enough to run into Terrence Howard in the street, and I told him that I saw his latest movie once. Condescendingly, as if I were an idiot, he replied, ""Don't you mean... two times?"""

"Zelda is the name of the PRINCESS, the guy in green who saves her is named Luigi, idiots."

"If a tree farm is planted next to a cornfield ... and over time grows to steal sunlight from the cornfield, would that be farmed robbery?"

"I think always mixing up vocabulary words in school hurt my career options. Because I always wanted to be an archipelago just like ""Indiana Jones""!"