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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a slutty midget? A tator thot."

"I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory."

"[first date] me: don't let her know you vocalise everything you think her: what? me: shit she knows"

"The Climate of New Zealand Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand? Matthew: Very Cold, sir. Teacher: Wrong. Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!"

"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"

"What did one drug dealer tell another on the street corner after hearing of Amy Winehouse's death? Damn, I'm gonna go bankrupt."

"What is the purpose of the bumps around a womens nipple? It's braille for blind babies... -=Women=- It spells out ....""Suck here"" -=Men=- "" I am the daddy """

"I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done"

"Friday and Monday are twins, but Friday is the twin that likes to party and is always down to bone."

"It's no surprise that Trump is here, just look at all the movies where there is a black President and something comes to destroy the earth. All credits go to Larry Wilmore. ;)"