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Joke of the Day

"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"

"Me: Ur driving me crazy Crazy: Nah, I'm too drunk"

"What do people in the hood enjoy eating? Spaghetto"

"There's a big difference between writing poetry, and just making stories with rhymes. Guess which one I'm good at, limes."

"Doctor talking to a woman Doctor says: It looks like you're pregnant. Woman says: I'm pregnant? Doctor says: No, it just looks like you're pregnant."

"After seeing my dog scoot her butt across my rug, I've decided I need to up my break dancing game."

"What do you call a bad joke about prostitutes? Whorrible."

"A joke my girlfriend came up with today... ""Can you let me out the basement for 5 minutes?"""

"Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying ""Curiosity was here"""

"""GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"" ""Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"" ""Oh rad bring it in"""