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Joke of the Day

"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"

"Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it."

"And He said unto Mike, ""Come forth and have eternal life."" But Mike came fifth, and won a blender."

"Watching real love on shows like The Bachelor makes me realize my own marriage is a fake bucket of shit."

"First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam."

"I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Q: Did you hear about the Blonde who got a pair of water-skis? A: She's still looking for a lake with a slope."

"What did God say to Jesus? This lawn ain't gonna mow itself."

"Damn girl are you sitting on a F5 key? Cos' that ass is refreshing"

"What is Jamaica's favorite male bird? The mongoose."