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Joke of the Day

"The Climate of New Zealand Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand? Matthew: Very Cold, sir. Teacher: Wrong. Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!"

"Sing me a song you're the piano man / clean out my pool you're the gardener /now light up my room you're a ceiling fan"

"I want the leaves in my yard to leaf Maple I should rake them. But hey, they do spruce it up a bit."

"How do Muslims do foreplay? They tickle the goat on the chin."

"[hospital] ""We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."" ""Is that bahahaad?"" ""Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."""

"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"

"You lost your phone when its' on silent? well too bad! If you liked it, you should have put a RING on it."

"Pascal: Come on, we must go! Me: Man, you are really making a lot of pressure for 1 Pascal."

"Why wasn't Sarah Jessica Parker cast in ""Seabiscuit""? I don't think she auditioned for the movie, or was even considered for it. And she was busy with ""Sex and the City"" anyway."

"What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted click"