199830

Joke of the Day

"It's no surprise that Trump is here, just look at all the movies where there is a black President and something comes to destroy the earth. All credits go to Larry Wilmore. ;)"

"Knock Knock. Who's rhere?. 9/11. 9/11 Who? You said you would never forget."

"My attitude changes in 5 seconds flat. From sweetheart to bitch. So I suggest you don't test that."

"Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions."

"You can say what you like about Paedophiles... ..at least they drive slowly in a school area."

"[at job interview] It says here that you are very hands on. Yes, sir, I am. Can you give me an example of this? *gently caresses his face*"

"What would you find on a German fire truck? Ladder-hosen"

"When people say ""I'm not getting any younger!"" I wonder what other basic life concepts they just learned."

"How do you win a late night argument with your deaf wife? You turn off the lights."

"What did the optical illusion say when he got caught cheating on his wife ""It's not what it looks like!"""