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Joke of the Day

"[first date] me: don't let her know you vocalise everything you think her: what? me: shit she knows"

"Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is ""good"" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!"

"What do you call a black guy who fly's a plane for a living? A PILOT you fucking racist!"

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do i pass by you again."

"Why did the cucumber blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."

"What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head? Sister-Matic"

"How do mermaids give birth? Via Sea-Section"

"Don't go broke trying to look rich... act your wage'"

"Eventually Adobe is going to release a software application that does nothing but update itself."

"What does an obese white woman have in common with a brick? Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican."