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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you hear a dog whistle? Because they have a hard time puckering their lips the right way."

"I like my women how I like my wine... ...Locked down in the basement"

"There are 6 jurors on the Treyvon Martin trial. I bet they all get on the same cycle from being around each other so much... Dude better hope it isn't that time of the month when the verdict comes in."

"If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet."

"Why did the balloon go near the needle? .... Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be a pop star."

"Why did the Shitaki left the party? It was too crowded and there wasnt mushroom. It's a pitty he left... He is a funghi!"

"Have you guys ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they"

"Bad day? Just remember, there are folks that have their ex's name tattooed on their body. Merica."

"My password is the last 9 digits of pi."

"I'll never understand the appeal of TV shows about food. To me that's like listening to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show on the radio."