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Joke of the Day

"Bad day? Just remember, there are folks that have their ex's name tattooed on their body. Merica."

"If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently."

"Whats the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut? About 3 weeks."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" wtf ""woah wait its back on again"" no way ""great he's stole my nose now"" im phoning the police"

"Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said ""concentrate""! "

"Christian men should have sexual orientation listed as bi... ...because they love Jesus"

"Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet."

"Ladies, if you love a man, set him free. If he comes back he will be yours forever. If he doesn't, the new chick probably squirts or does anal."

"All of the firefighters at my station are quick. They're even ""fast"" asleep!"

"What did one boob say to the other? We better get some support or people are gonna think we're nuts."