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Joke of the Day

"I'll never understand the appeal of TV shows about food. To me that's like listening to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show on the radio."

"How do you circumcise a whale? Four skin divers."

"I had a near miss on my a flight to Thailand. Well a pre-op Transsexual."

"My counsellor told me I have a problem with vengeance. We'll see about that."

"I thought about being a mortician On one hand people are dying to get into that field but i hear its dead end job"

"Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team? She ran away from the ball."

"Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster."

"Decades have gone by and STILL my parents have not given back the Halloween candy they took from me ""for safe keeping""."

"""Hitting it hard as shit"" and ""tickling the hole"" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today"

"Did you hear about the insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic man? He lies awake all night wondering if there's a Dog."