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Joke of the Day

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top. It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts"

"Why did the comedian say he preferred his hamburger on a croissant roll? ""Because,"" he said, ""the bun is the lowest form of pastry."""

"Wheres my dog gone? Dead in the trash"

"If I could set people on fire with a single stare, a lot of innocents would die. ""Sorry sir, we are closed."" FIRE! ""Good morning."" FIRE!"

"Me: you married? Him: separated Me: your wife know about that?"

"A pirate walks into a bar... With a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, ""hey what's with the steering wheel?"" and the pirate says, ""Arrgghhh.... it drives me nuts."""

"I was once stoned in Memphis And I entered this weird contest where you had to walk on famous Jessicas. I was walking with my feet 10 ft off a Beal."

"Why Did The Tiger Cross The Road? Because there wasn't a Zebra crossing Sorry, my 5 year old son made me post this"

"What is the difference between a bachelorette party and Cirque du Soleil? One is a group of cunning stunts."

"After ironing my shirt I noticed it was depressed, I still can't believe it hung itself though."