201800

Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar... With a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, ""hey what's with the steering wheel?"" and the pirate says, ""Arrgghhh.... it drives me nuts."""

"An unconscious man arrives at a hospital... After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus. The doctors have declared his condition as ""stable."""

"Someone told me there's a gay guy in my circle of friends... I hope it's Michael. Hes cute."

"How do you know the bartender didn't appreciate your drunken pass at her She's stirring your bloody mary with a string."

"If they ever make an alcoholic drink that tastes like a burrito I'll be dead within 5 hours."

"A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar... the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'"

"A Russian went for an eye check up. The doctor showed him some letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY ""Can you read this?"" The Russian responds, ""Read? I even know this guy. He's my cousin."""

"Girls in Thailand are like a box of chocolates Some of them have nuts"

"""Daddy, I want to watch Dora."" Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets"

"5 years ago today I asked the girl of my dreams to go out with me. Today, I asked her to get married... She said no both times. ;("