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Joke of the Day

"If I could set people on fire with a single stare, a lot of innocents would die. ""Sorry sir, we are closed."" FIRE! ""Good morning."" FIRE!"

"What is Gordon Ramsay's least favourite subreddit? IT'S R/AWW!!"

"What is one of the funniest simple joke you have ever heard? Literally... made you die laughing e.g. Why did the monkey fall of the tree? bc it died e.g. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"

"California Q: How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Hella."

"Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I."

"I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos."

"Well kids, when a man and woman love each other very much, he erects a monument for her, but in his pants."

"""Love me do"" was written by John Lennon... After he got a really nice haircut"

"Wings are the leading cause of bird flew"

"Wouldn't it be great if twitter had a roped off VIP section where celebrities could keep their boring tweets to themselves?"