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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nosy pooper? An eavesdropper!"

"I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone... One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia."

"I just accidentally put my mic too close to my guitar amp and I think I made a Skrillex song."

"What do you call a man with a blood-covered axe with necklaces made of fingers running towards you? Why the fuck are you still thinking what to call him? Run and get the cops!"

"Usually chocolate makes me hyper but my dog ate a pack of Snickers and he's been asleep for hours. Haha wake up so we can play, little guy."

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Cyclops Barbie ...one eye right in the middle of her forehead; Cyclops Ken sold separately"

"The bartender says, ""hey we don't serve neutrinos in here!"" A neutrino walks into a bar."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!"

"Nothing rhymes with Trump Wait. I meant nothing rhymes with orange"