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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says, ""hey we don't serve neutrinos in here!"" A neutrino walks into a bar."

"Most guys propose with a diamond but if you're really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack."

"Why was the liquor trader arrested? Because he was in cider trading"

"What's the difference between an elevator and a black guy? The elevator can raise a child."

"Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up"

"I'm so pro-life, I believe life begins at erection."

"The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level' Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards'"

"I'm rockin the 'Barbie doll' look today. No, I didn't dye my hair blonde. I did 4 pushups and now I can't unbend my arms"

"I just want to make enough money to live in a neighborhood where Starbucks doesn't lock their bathrooms"

"After working retail I've discovered that there are two types of people in the world Those who can read signs, and customers."