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Joke of the Day

"I just accidentally put my mic too close to my guitar amp and I think I made a Skrillex song."

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... ...but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."

"They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm."

"Helping a gang of squirrels buy remote control cars against my better judgment."

"Paris Hilton says that bees frighten her. I bet the rest of the alphabet does too."

"Currently working on an app for lonely people called ""Words With Cats""."

"[Fixed] Brace yourself for the shortest and corniest joke in the world kernel"

"always good to put one of those Apple stickers that comes with ur iPhone on your car so thieves know which car to break in to."

"What do all battered women have in common? They don't listen."

"Helpful advice for travellers: If you are going to get on a commercial flight take a bomb with you. BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the SAME TIME with a bomb?"