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Joke of the Day

"Good girls go to heaven . . . bad girls make you feel like your there ."

"Ladies, the knight with the shiniest Armour has done the least amount of brave or cool sh*t."

"60% of all secretaries can type... The other 40% are huntn' peckers."

"I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV."

"my tortoiseshell sunglasses make me see the whole world through the kelvin instagram filter"

"The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad. And you said id never amount to anything"

"So far it's been an, ""I look okay enough to go to Walmart but not to go to Target"" kind of day."

"Donald Trump is getting back into the air travel industry... He's launching...Receding Hairlines"

"What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend? I just need some bread"

"If i had a dollar for everytime someone called me a racist black people would probably come rob me."