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Joke of the Day
"my tortoiseshell sunglasses make me see the whole world through the kelvin instagram filter"
Next Joke
"A drunk throws up on a dog.. And say.. ""Jesus I don't remember eating that !"""
"FREE NUDE SHOW: Walk into a women's tanning salon and yell ""FIRE!"""
"I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays."""
"Before encouraging everyone to ""do whatever makes you happy,"" ask if anyone is a sadist. Don't encourage the sadists."
"You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right?"
"Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny."
"No thanks private caller, I don't even answer the phone when I know who it is"
"old man's advice when you're young, she just takes your breath away, but once you're older, you realize she's suffocating you."
"i pinched out a bowel movement while reaching for a stool."