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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, the knight with the shiniest Armour has done the least amount of brave or cool sh*t."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Two... One to beat the the room for being black and the other to beat the switch for being broke."

"What do you call a sick bird from Mars? An ill Eagle alien. Original joke created for my 5 year old."

"When I was a kid I put paper in an oven to get it to burn... ...but the knob only went up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit."

"Why did the bubblegum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's legs."

"People that over-exaggerate are the absolute worst."

"It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer."

"Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel... Ground Breaking Stuff."

"What does a vampire take for a cold? Coffin syrup!"

"I went to a karaoke bar last night. I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music... at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified."