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Joke of the Day

"In a very touching gesture, Gary Anderson attempted to call up Blair Walsh and offer his sympathy. Unfortunately, they just missed each other."

"Just found out the Turkish President is getting into acting He shot a pilot a few month back"

"It would be cheaper if they used oak instead of silicone in boob jobs.. Wooden tit?"

"Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus."

"Whats Big, Black, Hard and full of semen? A submarine"

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

"What are OJ Simpson's favorite keys on a computer? Return Home Slash Slash Backslash Shift Shift Shift Escape"

"Doc I keep throwing up Did u eat anything odd lately No What about that bottle youre holding labelled ""lizard juice"" You said eat, idiot"

"supermarketes become so much more terrifying if you find a product with the word instant' and replaec it with sudden'"

"I buried my head in my girlfriend's breasts tonight when we had a deep, intellectual conversation I just had to rack my brain to figure it out."