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Joke of the Day

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

"A Mexican kid passes a note to his friend in class. ""What do you think you're doing?"" the observant teacher asks. To which he replies... ""writing an ese"""

"Trump is a great guy. He's giving two million illegal immigrants free trips to Mexico."

"Why are chickens never virgins? A: Because when they're born they get laid."

"The first time I spent the night at my girlfriend's house, her father would not let us sleep together... ...which is a shame because he was very attractive."

"What'd the man with 5 penises say..? These pants fit like a glove!"

"Affirmation or irony? Yes."

"Hub: What time is our movie tonight? Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 ""Back off ladies. He's mine"""

"10 years ago, if you would've told me that I'd be having a daughter at 28, I would've murdered you for being a robot from the future."

"The French military suffered a major loss today... Their largest white flag factory burned to the ground."