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Joke of the Day

"Muslim feminist was explaining how women and men are equal in Islam ""You see, women have to cover their hair and their entire bodies. ""And to be equal, men have to.. uh.. wear shorts"" *applause*"

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"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one enjoys it?"
"What color is a chameleon on a mirror?"
"What do you call a constipated optimist? A half ass full kind-a guy!"
"Reddit right now http://imgur.com/hcmqCjU"
"So i was sitting on the bus... ... next to this really hot Thai girl and i thought to myself, ""Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."" ...But she did."
"I heard there was a fight at the fish and chip shop. Two cods got battered."
"Funny Fact Always happens to me : Study for one hour no one sees . But pick up mobile just for a second and MOM/DAD enters the room"
"4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish."
"""I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends."" -Misery"