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Joke of the Day
"""I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends."" -Misery"
Next Joke
"If someone tries to assassinate Trump what will the secret service shout? ""Donald, duck"""
"What do you call a snake that works in the government? A civil serpent"
"I haven't pooped in a couple weeks I'm not constipated, I'm just procrapstinating"
"You know it's love when you let her commit to your source tree without reviewing her code."
"I feel so bad when I see a woman wearing a shirt that says GAP on it. (OC) I want tell them, ""You're so much more than that!"""
"I'll admit that my jokes are cheesy, but even then the ones I find hilarious my friends don't find funny at all They must be laughtose intolerant"
"What do we want? Racing car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeeeooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"
"There's no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do."
"I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she ""can't survive on dry land."""