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Joke of the Day

"I double majored in TV and burritos."

"Why did the star go to the bathroom? Because it had to Twinkle."

"Did you know yesterday was National Middle Child Day? Don't worry, no one else remembered either."

"The mighty god rode his valiand steed atop the highest mountain.. ... raised his hammer high, and declared ''I am Thor!''. To which his horse replied: ''Because you forgot your thaddle, thilly.''"

"When I die I want to invite my college group mates to my funeral and have them bury me So they can let me down one last time"

"The real question Am i the only one who thinks that porn websites should end in .cum instead of .com?"

"My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning."

"[breaks into your house] [steals your shoes] [walks a mile in them] [judges you]"

"They should make it slightly less easy to ruin everything."

"What did the head say to the butt? Better to be ahead than behind."