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Joke of the Day

"4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish."

"What's the diffrence between Math and Emos? Math problems actually exist"

"You can lead a horse to water... but you can't make it drink, unless you have someone to hold his head under while you suck at his ass like a straw."

"What do you call the crucified baby Jesus? Baby on board."

"The best part about this status update is that by the time you've finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it"

"Me and my wife are married for so long that she can finish all of my sentences And the middle, sometime even the start, too"

"Karma So yesterday I found a 15 dollar note in my purse. Not bothered to submit it to the police I went to an alley to spend the fake bill for a 1 dollar item, and I got two 7 dollar note for change!"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants... The bartender looks over and says, ""Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."""

"What do you call a jew who works at a brewery? A he brew."

"What do you do after having licked the world's smoothest vagina? Put it back in the stroller"