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Joke of the Day

"If you know there's going to be a nuclear attack, surround yourself with a bunch of microwave popcorn. Awesome last image."

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear the AIDS joke? You haven't? Never mind, I don't want to spread it."
"Thheres just not enough moisture in food now a days. Run that shit under the faucet"
"""So all you have to do is scroll down the screen to reverse her progression from sexy prom queen to fat soccer mom."" - Facebook's Timeline"
"Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice box? Because it says ""concentrate"""
"I asked a terrorist how his day was going... He said it was great, his son died in a car bombing. The only problem? His son borrowed his car."
"My wife told me to stop listening to Wonderwall with the volume all the way up And I said MAYYYBEEEE"
"What did the heatsink say to the CPU? ""I'm a huge fan!"""
"I sent a text to my friend's mobile: ""Lost my contacts. Send me your number"". He replied with his name and number."
"My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting..."