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Joke of the Day

"""So all you have to do is scroll down the screen to reverse her progression from sexy prom queen to fat soccer mom."" - Facebook's Timeline"

"Over the years, my sexual fetishes have been getting more perverse But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I hit rock bottom"

"Why do aliens always disembark via ramp? Do they have problems with stairs? Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible?"

"What did The Mandrain say when he told his wife he'd stop masturbating? You'll never see me cumming."

"What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? a retarded gorilla"

"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: describe the suspect ""He was holding a pencil, wishing he was a real artist"" {pencil stops moving} ""And he was crying"""

"Sometimes I hang out in tea shops waiting for someone to say ""Oolong"" so I can shout ""THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"""

"I'd like to think inside your box."

"How are Women and Hurricanes Similar? They both come in hot and wet and **TAKE THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER, SARAH YOU BITCH!**"

"My mate went bald ten years ago and he still has his old comb that he used to use . He just cant part with it."